45 pages 1 hour read

Emily Nagoski

Come As You Are: The Surprising New Science that Will Transform Your Sex Life

Nonfiction | Book | Adult | Published in 2015

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Important Quotes

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“For a long, long time in Western science and medicine, women’s sexuality was viewed as Men’s Sexuality Lite—basically the same but not quite as good.”


(Introduction, Page 2)

In Come as You Are, Dr. Nagoski seeks to dispel the narratives that contribute to The Mythology of Sex. These myths exist to advance a patriarchal culture that places women’s sexuality as subservient to men’s sexuality. One of the myths is that women simply do not enjoy sex as much as men. Yet, research reveals that the clitoris has more nerve endings than the male penis and that women enjoy sex just as much as, if not more than, their partners.

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“You, too, are healthy and normal at the start of your sexual development, as you grow, and as you bear the fruits of living with confidence and joy inside your body.”


(Introduction, Page 5)

One of the strongest messages in the book is You Are Normal. Embracing this message is an important part of moving forward. Rather than viewing one’s personal sexual experience as broken or damaged, the individual can start from a point of self-compassion and understanding.

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“Culture adopts a random act of biology and tries to make it Meaningful, with a capital ‘Mmmh.’”


(Part 1, Chapter 1, Page 17)

The myths that develop around women and sex are often based upon faulty science or sweeping generalizations on limited data sets. These interpretations contribute to the mythology of sex and can affect a person’s wellness and self-worth.