46 pages • 1 hour read
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As a teenager, Jonny rarely, if ever, has sober sex. He admits that his nickname, The Vacuum, comes in part from his dependence on alcohol. At every rez party, he has receptive anal sex (known as bottoming) with strangers; he frequently blacks out during or after sexual encounters. After one such encounter, at sixteen, he takes $40 and a sweater from his sexual partner; he considers this fellow his first in-person sex work client.
At 18, Jonny works at a newly opened casino as a dishwasher. He admits that his primary reason for accepting the job is to find new sex work clients. There, he meets an older man with whom he drinks beer. He wakes up in the hospital, where he is told he fell through a window. He is groggy as though drugged. A nurse slips him money for a taxi, but he knows he won’t be able to find one to take him to the reservation at night, so he walks home instead. His mother finds him sleeping on the couch. The entire experience leads Jonny to an epiphany: “There are times when you have to scare yourself to find yourself” (110).