47 pages • 1 hour read
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Greg returns to school in late October. He catalogs his very boring days through a series of sarcastic newspaper headlines, wondering if when you die, you’ll find a room full of similar headlines about your life. Given that it’s the fall semester of his senior year, Greg’s parents encourage him to think about colleges. Greg believes that since high school has been so difficult to navigate, college will be even harder, which causes him intense anxiety. In response to his parents’ urging him to submit his films as an extracurricular, Greg hates the idea so much that he pretends to be dead until they leave the room. He brings up the subject of college with Rachel, who immediately sides with his parents. Greg deflects by making his belly talk in a Southern accent, but Rachel refuses to let go of the subject. She questions Greg about his choice of school and his choice of major, and when Greg fails to distract her with his talking-stomach routine, he turns the questioning around on her: to what college is she applying? This accomplishes his goal of stopping the conversation, but not until after he realizes he’s been a colossal jerk in asking a dying girl about her plans for the future.