Men Have Called Her Crazy

Content Warning: This section of the guide includes discussions of mental illness, suicidal ideation, and emotional abuse. 

During her sophomore year, Tendler fell in love with a junior named Julian. She became manager of the boys’ cross country team since she was always waiting for her friend, Elaine, during cross country practices. The coach saw Tendler waiting and asked if she wanted to join, but she couldn’t risk running and injuring herself since she was dedicated to ballet. Instead, she timed the boys as they ran and recorded their times. Both the boys’ and girls’ teams were close friends, so Tendler was brought into the group. She developed feelings for Julian because he was quiet and paid attention to her. After spending time as a group, Julian began sending her long, in-depth emails, which Tendler read as a sign of his affection for her. He invited her to hang out with his friends, seemingly to test the waters of her presence in his life. He would drive her around, letting her shift in his stick-shift car. Tendler has a memory of them kissing after one of these drives, but she doesn’t know if that happened or if she made up the memory.