Sideways Stories from Wayside School

This chapter describes Mr. Gorf, the teacher of the class on the 30th story. Mrs. Gorf is the meanest teacher in the building. She threatens to turn the students into apples if they misbehave or answer a question incorrectly. One day, she wiggles each ear and sticks out her tongue to turn four children into apples. She begins with Joe, who copies math answers from John, and then proceeds to John for allowing Joe to cheat. The rest of the class heads home, but the four apples remain on Mrs. Gorf’s desk. The next day, Mrs. Gorf turns eight more children into apples. Louis, the playground supervisor, searches for the 12 children, having noticed their absence from recess. Upon seeing the dozen apples on Mrs. Gorf’s desk, he assumes she must be well-liked to have received so many apples from students. He leaves but returns the next day to discover 24 apples on her desk.

At the end of the week, no more children remain in the class. Mrs. Gorf is happy at the thought of not having to teach anymore. Just then, the apples attack her, demanding to be turned back into children.