Symptoms of Being Human

Riley Cavanaugh, the novel’s first-person protagonist, is a 16-year-old vegan, gender-fluid teen living in Park Hills, California. Riley describes their androgynous aesthetic as “existential punk” (2), and largely avoids describing their appearance. For much of their narrative arc, Riley is closeted and lacks of sense of self, out of touch with their identity because of the gendered expectations of the binary world around them. Riley also faces multiple major life events—a mental health crisis, attending a new school immediately following that crisis, and their father’s reelection campaign. While Riley is used to being internally in flux due to their gender fluidity, these external stressors, along with gender dysphoria and bullying from other students, are heavily destabilizing and exacerbate Riley’s anxiety.

Riley often lacks confidence in themself and dislikes being the center of attention. They are easily flustered, noticeably blushing when they get embarrassed. Despite feeling awkward in most social situations, Riley’s strength lies in their ability “to work things out with words” (27), and their writing resonates and connects with others. This side of Riley comes out when they speak during a meeting at the Q, prompting Mike/Michelle to approach Riley about being a panelist at Trans Health Con. After being assaulted, Riley is driven to “speak up for people like me” (318), creating positive change by talking to others about their experience. Though Riley initially mistrusts others’ intentions due to the bullying they have experienced, Riley opts to treat others with compassion—even people like Sierra Wells, despite her treatment of Riley and cold response to their attempts at kindness.

Riley frequently compares themself to others, perhaps most significantly to their parents. As Riley’s mother puts it, Riley is “somewhere in the no-man’s-land between” (233) her and Riley’s father. For Riley, the way they embody aspects of their parents is complicated by their fluctuating gender identity. Riley’s mannerisms especially match their parents’ in heightened emotional moments. Sean Cavanaugh is quick to anger, and is the more confrontational parent in discussions with Riley. When Riley is angry, they notice that they breathe “hard and fast through my nose, like my dad” (84). When Riley’s mother is struggling to find words, she looks “like a spilled goldfish gasping for oxygen” (36), and Riley’s realization that they do the same thing infuriates them. Riley also shares anxiety with their mother.

Riley comes to appreciate some of the things they have in common with their parents over the course of the novel, particularly with their father. They both enjoy music from the 1970s and 80s, especially the Ramones, and the most significant bonding between them occurs when Riley’s father asks them to help him choose new music for his campaign. The two also share the ability to move people with their words. Though Riley’s rhetorical strength is writing, toward the end of the novel they become dedicated to speaking about a cause, like their politician father, whose support buoys Riley when he attends the panel Riley speaks at.

Solo is the first person Riley meets at Park Hills High. Riley describes him as “huge” and “at least six feet tall,” with “a nest of messy black hair” (7). Before the events of the novel, he used to hang out with Bec, wore a Chewbacca backpack, and was teased for his appearance—specifically his skin color and weight. At the beginning of the novel, Solo does his best not to ruffle feathers to keep his social safe position on the football team: “We all do what we have to do to get along” (84). He believes he’s made the best of his situation and criticizes Riley for “inviting” the harassment they receive. When Vickers sexually assaults Riley, Solo regrets this stance. He encourages Riley not to let others dictate how they live, and eventually takes his own advice and resumes wearing his Chewbacca backpack.

Solo turns out to be much more open-minded than Riley initially gives him credit for. When Bec explains that she’s upset with him because he “abandoned your friends to join a bunch of assholes who shit on the people you used to hang out with” (175), Solo listens. To share each other’s passions, he asks Riley and Bec to come to the football game to help them understand why he loves it so much, while he attends a meeting at the Q, respectfully interacting with the other members and surprising Riley by saying he’s been researching “gender stuff” (196) in order to better understand them.

Bec is Riley’s romantic interest in the novel. She has “dark hair to [her] shoulders,” (14) and “intense blue eyes” (22), and Riley initially mistakes her for a boy. Her boyish appearance and her chosen name (her legal name is implied to be Francesca) create the wrong impression that Bec is transgender—in reality, some of her actions honor her deceased trans sister Gabi. Bec’s self-confidence is a foil to Riley’s anxiety; unlike Riley, Bec doesn’t mind standing out, embracing the things (like her large nose) that draw attention.

Bec harbors a lot of guilt over her sister’s death, paralleling to a more extreme degree the guilt Riley feels over their part in Andie Gingham’s story. This guilt draws Bec to Riley. Though Riley briefly worries about simply being a stand-in for Bec’s sister and Bec berates herself for using Riley as “an emotional crutch” (226), there is also a sense that Bec’s desire to help Riley is rooted in genuine compassion and the hope that she can offer support she couldn’t give her sister.