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Content Warning: The section of the guide includes discussions of infertility, pregnancy loss, and suicide.
In their respective romantic relationships, Phoebe and Lila must navigate traditional societal expectations regarding committed relationships, marriage, and love. Both characters embark on a journey of self-discovery and introspection, coming to new realizations about themselves and abandoning tradition in their relationships.
Lila’s fixation on achieving the perfect wedding epitomizes a traditional mindset that ties the success of marriage to the grandeur of the wedding ceremony. While Phoebe initially views Lila as materialistic and superficial, she later becomes perplexed, “wondering why Lila is so worried about her million-dollar wedding being ruined yet doesn’t seem concerned to be missing the start of it” (74). This observation leads Phoebe to question Lila’s true motivations for marrying. The narrative eventually reveals that Lila is subconsciously hoping for someone to sabotage the wedding, allowing her to avoid the burden of canceling it herself. Phoebe reflects, “Brides who plan weddings this expensive actually go through with them. People do what’s expected” (336), highlighting the societal pressures that force Lila to adhere to traditional norms despite her doubts and desire not to marry Gary. Her hesitancy to make a decision that prioritizes her happiness—even if that means calling off the wedding and potentially receiving scorn or gossip as a result—underscores how deeply entrenched traditional societal expectations can influence people’s decisions, often at the expense of authenticity and happiness.